Body Language Training is a start!
But aren’t knowing it and experiencing two different dimensions? Is it better to know or to understand and use a skill? What is the most effective path to mastering body language? Keep reading for some inspiring clues…
Current interest in body language training is a great start!
A quick Google or survey of YouTube contributors on the subject of body language will reveal lots of important knowledge to help you discover much about this fascinating subject. Many are now actively teaching the rudiments of observing the implications of certain gestures. Many more are learning what to do with their arms and posture to generate more effect. Practicing body language basics is starting to generate results in this new age where everything seems to end up on video. Yet could we still be missing something?
The Body Language Expert
If you go to school long enough you can get a doctorate in your chosen field and almost overnight that title will make you an expert. Yet:
How much experience do you now have in its real world application?
What kind of feel will you have for your subject’s effect on others?
How often do you actually apply what you know on yourself and your behavior?
Just like having a driver’s license does not make you an expert behind the wheel, neither does knowing when to cross your arms make you an expert on body language. This may be oversimplified, but it is meant as an invitation to look beyond the knowledge and really feel what is happening.
Mastering the language of your body
Nowadays being an expert often means you need to know your subject well enough to win a debate. Yet what if mastering a subject requires a whole other dimension; to understand your subject well enough to apply it? What if the subtle difference here has to do with your emotional involvement? What if incorporating what you know with what you feel is the key? This is where it gets tricky. This can also be where you can take your first conscious step on the path of body language mastery. Beware though; this path will require you to take a practical look within.
“Know Thyself and Know The Universe”
To graduate from the world of expertise into the world of mastery implies a willingness to look within yourself. This means actively practicing to gain insight into your own relation between your body language and the emotions coupled with each pose or gesture. At some level, we humans are all alike. Just as computer software is built-in “stacks” starting with the machine code level of ones and zeros, so are we. In our case those metaphorical ones and zeros can represent pain/pleasure, joy/sadness, ease and dis-ease, to name just a few. You need to be willing to explore what makes you happy or sad, what makes you feel lighter and more in the flow as well as what doesn’t. Then you need to couple that to the language of your body. Finally, you need to practice relating your own experiences and feelings to sense any connection with similar body language patterns in others. This process takes mastering effective soft skills.
Will it hurt?
Just as with rummaging around in a dark and dusty attic, exploring your body language and the emotions tied to it can seem mysterious, even dangerous. One of the reasons most of us have, until recently, tended to avoid engaging in this process is that you often uncover hidden memories and emotions that you long ago forgot or hid deep down in your tissue. Shining a light on these “issues in your tissues” can be confronting and even painful. But, sticking with this process until its complete can feel very liberating. It takes lots of energy to freeze those old emotions in place. Sometimes they are so frozen that muscle can feel like cartilage and cartilage like bone. Yet for every challenging issue you expose and deal with, the energy you were using to keep it frozen is liberated. You can now use it much more efficiently. What could you do with more energy in your life?
The other exciting part of this is that since we are all built relatively alike you will soon discover that others hide similar issues in the same physiological areas of their bodies as you. What if this is the key to empathy?
Building relationships that stick
For those of you fortunate enough to have someone in your life that listens to you with empathy, you will know how wonderful and liberating it feels. You will also sense how light, happy and energetic your body feels after spending time with them. Finally, you appreciate how attractive they are and how much you look forward to seeing them again, soon. Even if this empathetic person has never heard of body language training, see if you can sense their awareness of the power of emotion in relationships. Do you think you could used this practice to:
Lead others in a way they choose and enjoy following?
Sell and present in a way that encourages this agreement?
Serve others in a way that develops customer loyalty
Create a positively infectious form of team spirit?
Make you a better mom or dad?
Mastery, applying the best balance of knowledge & emotion
What if combining the hard skills of reading body language with the sensational soft skills of feeling its effect is the promise of the next phase of body language training? Just reading body language is like reading a travel guide. It’s an intellectual process that often leads to experts debating each other over what they read. Isn’t it a whole other dimension when you actually visit the place you read about; to experience the sights, the smells, the noise, the tastes and the feelings it arouses?
Intellectual expertise is great but consciously mastering actual experiences even better. Come join us on this path where feeling is believing!